Love in Action: A Parent’s Guide to a Strong School Start 

September marks the start of a new school year for most Canadian families. Back-to-school is often a fresh start and reset, not just for students, but for the entire family. As routines shift and adjustments are made, it’s the perfect time for parents to refresh their approach as they guide their children into a new season. 

We have a Unique “Love Language” 

God’s designed each of us with unique ways of feeling loved. Dr. Gary Chapman refers to this as the “Five Love Languages”. Understanding these “love languages” helps us know how to relate to one another, helping us recognize how we receive and express love. Regardless of their age, knowing our children’s love language can have a huge impact on their well-being. 

How to Guide Our Children Using The 5 Love Languages:
 

1. Affirming Words: Do you remember how powerful words were for you as a child, both positive and negative? Can you think of a time when someone believed in you and validated your hidden potential? You may also recall a friend belittling you with words, or a teacher embarrassing you in front of the class. Positive or negative, words have a significant impact on children, with the potential of this affecting how they view themselves. That’s why our words as parents are so important! Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Our words, especially those towards our children, should build them up and abound in God’s grace.

As your child heads back to school, make it a daily parenting goal to tell them you love them and are proud of them. A simple “I know you’ll do great today!” or “I’m so proud of how hard you’re working on your homework” can be their armor.  

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you find creative ways to offer affirmation. Whether it’s a simple lunchbox note, a text, or even writing a scripture or a personal message on the bathroom mirror can give your kids the encouragement they need to start their day strong. 

Jesus himself was affirmed at his baptism and transfiguration by His Father when He said: “MY Son, MY Beloved” (Matthew 3:17). We all need this validation. When we speak to our children, we should speak from a heart of purity, as Matthew 5:8 reminds us: “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” The words that we speak to our children should be words of affirmation and encouragement, reflecting the heart of our Heavenly Father towards them. 

2. Affection/Physical Touch: Preparing for a new school year can be exciting but also overwhelming for our kids at any age. As a parent don’t underestimate the power of physical connection to ease back-to-school anxieties. Research has shown that a parent’s touch can increase a child’s self-esteem. The effects can be long-lasting, potentially influencing a child’s happiness and emotions not only in the moment, but also their well-being throughout their entire life.

It could be a hug before they leave for the day, a reassuring touch when they’re struggling with a tough assignment or holding their hand during a school event. In the evening, it’s a caring, affectionate gesture of a forehead kiss on your child going through adolescence. 

Matthew 19:14 says, “But Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.’”  We should always be a safe place of physical affection for our children, welcoming them with open arms, full of the love of Jesus.  

3. One-on-One (Quality Time): The back-to-school rush can make quality time feel impossible, especially as calendars quickly fill up with extra-curricular activities, but it’s more crucial than ever.

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you recognize the “windows of opportunity” to communicate, like car rides to school, dinnertime, or a few minutes before bed. What “language” are they speaking? Are they eager to share about their day, or do they need quiet reassurance? These seemingly inconvenient moments are often important moments of family ministry hidden within daily conversation. 

4. Thoughtful Gifts/Presents: Have you ever received an unexpected gift? These types of gifts, whether it comes in the form of anexperience, a gift card, or a thoughtful object, trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward and creates a sense of surprise and delight. The combination of surprise and joy brings trust, appreciation, and a sense of connection. 

Speaking the love language of gifts to our children isn’t about lavish gifts, but the gesture. It could be as simple as a new notebook they wanted, a special snack in their lunchbox, or a walk or drive for their favorite treat. 

1 John 3:1 we are reminded of how God has given us a lavish gift! “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” 

5. Kind Actions/Acts of Service: As parents, it can feel like we do everything for our kids! Cooking, cleaning, administrating, the list goes on. Speaking this love language goes beyond the daily parental responsibilities. It’s about showing intentional care through our actions to a specific child at a specific time. It’s not about doing everything, but about those small, intentional things that say, “I love you,” without a single word. 

It could look like helping them organize their backpack (or wash it out – 😊), preparing a special breakfast before a big test, or staying up late to help with a last-minute project. These selfless acts of service show love and provide encouragement and support.  

In Matthew 25:40, Jesus reminds us, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” 

Building a Foundation of Love 

We have a choice. We can dread scheduling a new school year this fall or pause and reset.  You are building a foundation of love that will see our kids through some upcoming challenges. As you pour into them, you are also building their identity in Christ.  

God has given us the ultimate example. He affirms us, offers us His presence, and has given the most incredible gift of all—His Son. So, as you help your kids with their backpack or wash off those muddy shoes, know that you’re not just getting them ready for school; you’re showing them a picture of God’s love. 

“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13