Where Is My Confidence?

Where does confidence come from?
Are you born with it?
Do we have to fake it until we make it?

I remember the first time I sang in front of people, I was 18 years old at a youth camp. I had always been interested in music. I remember enduring a couple of years of piano lessons, but Tchaikovsky wasn’t really my jam. I would sit in my room for hours listening to music and pouring over the lyrics of my favourite songs. As a teen, I would use all my money to attend concerts and buy CDs (they used to cost upwards of $25 in the 90s).

Unfortunately, my passion for music didn’t translate into the appropriate amount of skill for those who heard me amplified that first fateful night. It wasn’t a complete train wreck, but I do remember having my eyes completely closed for the entirety of the song as I stood motionless in front of the crowd. I possessed all the confidence of a gangly deer caught in headlights.

A lot has changed since then. I have had the privilege of standing in front of thousands of people, leading them in songs that glorify Jesus. Free of fear and full of motion.

How did that awkward teenager get the confidence to stand and sing on some of the most beautiful and renowned stages in the city?

I have spent thousands of hours in practice and have also taken voice lessons, but that isn’t what gives me confidence. My confidence isn’t rooted in my ability, although musical competency is certainly necessary if you wish to share it with others.

So, what changed?

I love the story of Moses in the Bible. God miraculously spoke to him through a burning bush and told him that he had been chosen to lead an entire nation out of captivity and into a promised land.

In Exodus chapter 3 we see a very unconfident Moses, full of excuses as to why he was not the right person for the job.

“But why me?”
“I’m not good at speaking.”
“Can’t you send someone else?”

In spite of all of these objections, God replies, “I will be with you.”

Moses eventually became one of the greatest leaders in history, but his confidence didn’t come from his abilities or the fact that he had once been a prince in Egypt. His confidence was found in the God of creation who promised to be with him.

My confidence is found in the same God. Jesus has also promised to never leave or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I know that when I lead people in worship it isn’t about my abilities, it’s in the promise that my God will give me everything I need in order to accomplish His will. I know that it’s God’s will for people to give Him praise and glory. Whenever you are doing the will of God, He will give you everything you need in order to accomplish it.

Sharing your faith.
Working as unto the Lord.
Loving others.

Even singing in front of a lot of people.