Pastor Dave Koop
Winning Over Rejection
In the movie Back To The Future, there is a scene where Marty McFly goes back in time and is trying to convince his father George to ask his mom Lorriane out on a date. George is sitting in the school cafeteria, lost in a world of writing science fiction stories. When Marty presses his nerdy father to ask Lorraine out he replies, “What, right here, right now in the cafeteria? What if she said no? I don’t know if I could take that kind of rejection.”Marty then looks down and says, “Yes. Yes, I know what you mean.” We can all relate to George and Marty, no one likes to be rejected and we have all experienced it at some point in our lives. It may have been an older sibling who overshadowed you, a coach who cut you from the team, a wrongfull dismissal from work, someone teasing you for your appearance or being ridiculed for your race or culture. Perhaps someone didn’t invite you to the party, ignored you or defriended you on Facebook.This sense of rejection makes you feel like you’re not good enough. That everyone is better than you. Rejection is defined as to throw away, the state of being refused or the denial of love and acceptance. No wonder it hurts so much. It is this state of rejection that has hindered many from stepping out and fulfilling their dreams.If rejection is left unchecked it can cause some serious damage in your life. It will:
- Destroy your health, physically and emotionally. In severe cases it leads to depression, suicide, gluttony or anorexia.
- Form a basis of hatred for certain groups of people like authority figures, race or gender.
- Rob you of your ability to love and receive love.
- Cause self-pity and low self-esteem.
- Breed insecurity and steal your confidence.
- Cause people to avoid you because you have nothing to talk about but your problems.
- Force you to retreat and go into isolation.
- Pave the way for peer pressure and allow others to manipulate us.
- Prohibit honesty. Why do people lie or shade the truth? They are afraid that if they tell the truth they will be rejected.
So how can you win against the battle of rejection? The strategy to winning over rejection is to first know that you are never alone. Jesus can relate to you and He is always there for you, to strengthen you with His love. He too had to deal with rejection in a big way. His own family and hometown rejected Him, the religious leaders of His day also rejected Him. And of course, in the last hours of His life His best friends, the disciples, deserted Him. But the greatest rejection Jesus would face was when His Heavenly Father forsook Him as He took our sins on Himself at the cross. (See Mark 15:34) Jesus faced this ultimate rejection so we would never have to. As we read in Hebrews 13:5, “for God himself has said, ‘I will never fail you or abandon you.’”
Take time to ponder this; God loves you, God really loves YOU! Your sense of self-worth is based on what you think the most important people in your life think about you. No one is more important in your life than God, so as you meditate on what God thinks about you, it causes your sense of self-worth to rise and displaces that feeling of rejection. The reason why many of us are crippled by a fear of rejection is because we care more about what people think than about what God thinks.The most beautiful thing God ever made was you! He said; “I want to create a person who can contain My Spirit.” Stop looking for more evidence that God loves you. You may have said, “If God really loves me then why did this happen?” or “God if you really love me get me this job.” God is asking, “What is the most significant thing I could do for you to demonstrate that I have not rejected you but that I love you?” That of course was sending His own Son to die for all of us, to face the ultimate rejection for sin, so we would never have to. This is where the classic verse John 3:16 fits in, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
When you take this thought and run it through your mind over and over it will drop into your heart. The knowing will go to believing. As we read in 1 John 4:16, “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”It is important to recognize that your battle with that feeling of rejection is actually a fight against an evil spirit, not people. As Paul says in Ephesians 6:12, “This is not a wrestling match against a human opponent. We are wrestling with rulers, authorities, the powers who govern this world of darkness, and spiritual forces that control evil in the heavenly world.” Our spiritual enemy is the serpent behind the venomous bite of rejection. If we don’t get this, we will take the wrong medicine to combat rejection. The antidote for rejection is this love of God. Therefore John writes in 1 John 4:18, “ No fear exists where his love is. Rather, perfect love gets rid of fear.” Pondering how much God loves you gets rid of the fear of rejection. I love the way the Message Bible translates Jeremiah 29:11, “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”
After meditating on God’s immense love and acceptance for you it is important to address the evil spirit of rejection. Jesus told His disciples in Luke 10:19, “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you.” Jesus has empowered you to directly address this foul spirit. It may feel odd, but in the privacy of your own prayer time you need to speak to this spirit in the name of Jesus. If this spirit is not resisted it will try to hang around when it has no legal right to.Stand up to this evil spirit and say, “Spirit of rejection, do you hear me? I want you out of my life. Spirit of rejection, I will no longer listen to you. It’s God’s will that you be gone!” “Spirit of rejection and fear, I’m telling you to go! In the mighty name of Jesus, I speak to you: you cannot harass my life! I renounce you. I choose to walk in God’s perfect love. Jesus has set me free and He who the Son sets free is free indeed!”George McFly didn’t know if he could take “that kind of refection”. The good news is you don’t have to take it! God’s love and the name of Jesus will overcome rejection so you can pursue your purpose and destiny with confidence.