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1160 West Georgia Street Vancouver, BC, V6E 3H7
Pastor Dave Koop
7 Keys To Being Married And Staying Best Friends
Often best friends fall in love, get married and then somehow lose that friendship in marriage. Others never marry because they don’t know how to be a true friend to the opposite sex or they don’t want to enter that level of responsibility.
What is a best friendship marriage like? How does God develop it?
1. Best friends keep God first in their lives.
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:12
- Let Jesus be your very best friend“ only He can meet all your needs in every season of life.
- Pray for and with each other. Share your spiritual journey. If you do this there is a very low chance of divorce.
- Keep the Designer involved and review His manual (the Bible) often.
- Let God and His word be the umpire for the disputes in your relationship.
2. Best friends continue to dream.
Then the LORD answered me and said: Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. – Habakkuk 2:2
Where there is no vision (dream), the people (relationships) perish. – Proverbs 29:18
- If we just dwell on all the problems of life we forget why we are friends and soon the troubles of life consumes the gift of friendship.
- Take time to write down your vision as a couple in the different seasons of life. This will help you focus in the storms of life and keep your relationship from perishing.
3. Best friends love at all times.
A friend loves at all times. – Proverbs 17:17a
Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. – 1 Corinthians 13:5
- Love each other in the times of trouble and in the daily routine of life.
- Keep your love fresh with spontaneous texts, love notes and affection.
- Don’t become familiar with each other.
- Don’t keep score of the faults or your love deposits.
4. Best friends treat each other with honesty and openness.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. – Proverbs 27:6
In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery. – Proverbs 28:23
- Deceit and love cannot coexist.
- Remember what you promised at the altar. To become something else is deceitful.
- Your relationship is as healthy as your secrets.
5. Best friends watch the way they talk to each other.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. – Proverbs 18:21
- A marriage will flourish or it will dry up depending on the words that are spoken between a couple.
Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends. – Proverbs 17:9
A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. – Proverbs 16:28
- It is not just what you say to each other that counts, but the way you talk about your best friend to others that matters.
Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! – Proverbs 15:23
My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. – James 1:19
- It is also knowing the right time to talk. A great question to ask for effective communication is: “Is this a good time to talk?”
6. Best friends are committed, loyal and responsible.
However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. – Ephesians 5:33
7. Best friends learn and change together in the seasons of life.
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. – Hosea 4:6
- Keep learning about each other in the various seasons of life – from dating to helping with the grandchildren.
- Stay connected to a small group.